


Let Me Crash Upon Your Shore

by Tamoline



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 23:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamoline/pseuds/Tamoline
Summary: Sometimes Victoria needs to get away from the rest of the world. Sometimes she needs to relax. Sometimes she needs to not think.Ashley helps, in her own way.Or - Victoria and Ashley have a quiet night in.





	Let Me Crash Upon Your Shore

By the time she’s knocking on the door, Victoria’s already halfway sunk into the headspace. It’s been a tense few days coordinating between various hero groups, and all she wants is... to not think for a few hours. But all those concerns are drifting away as she stares into the wood grain, lost in a gentle, soothing warm fog that relaxes her as it fills her.

She really must need this, because it takes her a few seconds to realise that Ashley has opened the door, and is looking at her, one eyebrow raised, eyes slightly crinkling and a faint smile on her lips.

“Glad to see that I finally have your attention, Victoria,” she says.

Words already feel a little lost to her, like groping for them would feel like fingernails on a blackboard, so Victoria just nods and ducks her head apologetically.

Ashley clicks her tongue sharply and Victoria jerks, reacting to the signal that Ashley wants to talk with her.

“Yes?” Victoria says, back inside her own head.

“Good, you’re with me.” Ashley pauses for a second before continuing. “I was… wondering if you’d been practising that knotwork we’d talked about.”

Victoria gives her a searching look. “Was that a hint of shyness I heard in your voice?” she says, a little teasingly.

“You didn’t answer the question,” Ashley snaps, and if there was anything like that in her voice it isn’t there now. Her tone sends a slight thrill through Victoria — as much as she enjoys these sessions, she can’t deny there’s a certain satisfaction in pushing back a little now and again.

But only a little. Winding Ashley up really isn’t why she’s here. “Yes, I have,” she says simply. “I think I’m good enough to try it out, if you want.”

Ashley assesses her for a moment, then turns on her heel and disappears back into the apartment. “Follow me,” she orders, and Victoria obeys, letting herself fall back into the headspace as she does so.

Ashley leads her into the kitchen. “Stay here,” she says, then heads back out. Victoria stands there, letting the sight of the kitchen trickle into her, wash over her without concentrating on any one thing. It’s an impression that’s become familiar over the past several weeks, ever since they started this… whatever, and by now it’s a calming one, something that soothes her nerves in the timeless void that exists in Ashley’s absence.

And then Ashley is back, a neatly tied bundle of rope in each hand. She drops the rope on the kitchen table and sits down on a wooden chair. “Now, Victoria,” she says. “Let’s see how well you’ve learned your lessons.”

Victoria lets Ashley’s words flow through her as she binds each of Ashley’s hands to the side of the chair with a double-column tie. The rope is soft and oiled under her hands as she loops and ties it around Ashley’s wrists — not tight, but not loose enough that Ashley could slip free. As she does do, Ashley starts to loosen, the ever present tension in her shoulders and arms relaxing, and even in her disconnected state, she can’t help but feel a certain warmth flood through her.

“Good,” Ashley pronounces after she’s finished. She tests the restraints. “Well done,” The warmth inside of Victoria burns high enough to almost flood her cheeks at the smile on Ashley’s face.

Then it’s time for Victoria to make dinner. Again, she’s blessed by it being not something she has to think the least thing about — just letting Ashley’s words guide her as she retrieves the various things from their places in cupboards and the fridge, and prepares them according to Ashley’s exacting standards. It’s… nice, letting her hands slice, dice and cube the foodstuffs in front of her, almost zen-like in the way she doesn’t… have to worry… about… a… thing.

And then it’s almost like she blinks and there’s a cooked meal in the pots and pans in front of her. A stir fry of some kind, apparently. At Ashley’s instruction, she serves Ashley’s portion first, then sits down at the table at Ashley’s side and starts to feed her. This part— seeing Ashley’s genuine smile as she eats without even the residual worry about the misfiring of her powers — is one of her favourites, reigniting the warmth inside her from where it had banked while she’d drifted during the preparation of the meal.

It’s not sexual, this warmth. It’s more like… a combination of a good, whole-body massage, of having her hair stroked gently, of the satisfaction of knowing that this is a pure good, no complications or downsides or anything else that she has to worry about in this fucked up world.

It’s not sexual, but in some ways it’s better.

After Ashley has finished, it’s time for her to take care of Victoria. First she makes sure Victoria feeds herself, and then she has Victoria unbind her. Finally, she leads Victoria to the living room and sits them both down on the couch. She curls one arm gently around Victoria, pressing her lips to Victoria’s forehead, then turns on the TV and waits patiently for Victoria to come out of the headspace in her own time.

It’s… almost overwhelming, just how cared for Victoria feels as this happens. The warmth just grows and grows within her until it leaks out of her eyes. It’s not unusual, this crying, though it isn’t the embarrassing flood it was the first few times they did this. Now… now it’s just a release that she knows she doesn’t have to worry about, that Ashley would never use against her, that Ashley has even admitted that she’s a little flattered by. It’s… she’s just so happy in this moment, so relaxed — like she’s almost floating — that she can’t quite describe it.

And, for the first time she’s fully able to acknowledge that, although these sessions started as something platonic they haven’t remained completely so, at least for her. That, although somewhere within her she’s been worried, so worried, that any attraction to women might be traces of… traces of… traces, this doesn’t feel anything like **that**.

It feels like something she wants, not something she needs.

“Ashley?” she says.

Ashley turns and looks at her over her shoulder. “Yes?”

Victoria is still on the cusp of the headspace, still too much there to find the words to explain this realisation, to share this warmth within her that isn’t just a warmth anymore, so instead she presses her lips towards Ashley’s.

Ashley jerks her head sharply away before she can connect, and the rejection pierces Victoria deeply, all the more for her vulnerable emotional state. Misery wells up inside her and she curls up into herself, her tears flowing freely now as she sobs into her arm.

“That wasn’t a no,” Ashley says, her arm tightening around Victoria’s shuddering form. “It’s just… kissing on the lips isn’t something we’ve negotiated previously, and I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re like this.”

Victoria spends a few more moments trying to get her sniffling under control, out of the headspace enough to feel embarrassed about how silly she’s being. But not out enough to be able to stop feeling shy when she looks up at Ashley. “It’s not a no?” she confirms.

Ashley has an expression of what might be considered concern, if she didn’t know better. She nods slowly, holding Victoria’s gaze. “Just a not yet.”

“Okay,” Victoria says. “Okay. Not yet is good. Not yet, I can work with.”

There’s a slight smile on Ashley’s lips as she says, “And I would expect nothing less.”


End file.
